Brian’sPoems

Adam

I know what killed my friend Adam.
I can’t lay blame only on the alcohol
which caused his organs to fail.
Rather I see it as the failure of this world
to define masculinity as anything other
than what we do,
than who we love,
than being in control and all-knowing,
than being stoic and unforgiving,
than being stone and immovable.

It is our eager willingness,
when all is right in the world
to be led into a small dark room called manhood
with no obvious windows or doors.
Then when all goes wrong,
there’s no way back out,
except through a ritual death
and the complete surrender of our will
to the mystery at the very core of our being.

I don’t blame Adam
for grabbing the bottle.
What frightens me,
is that if I had done the same,
I would never have seen the light
which eventually led me to forgiveness
for all those things I am not,
and daily brings me closer
to the man I truly am.