Brian’sPoems

Transcription

I think I’m a bit closer to her and to understanding her. I felt a little self-pity this evening when she didn’t call me back as soon as I expected. But when she did I became tender. At least that’s how she made me feel. For some strange reason she came across the line even more feminine, more womanly, than I can ever remember. This alone caused a yearning within me, the likes of which I haven’t felt for a long, long time. Don’t let it frighten you, but it is so powerful that I want to consume her, or in other words, make her a part of me.

Forsaken among a patch of red berries.
I’m all stressed again and for no good reason. Unless not wanting to waste your life doing something you don’t enjoy has some merit. I shouldn’t complain because I do like some of it, and I’m sure I can make it fun. My goal is to be professional (the most) and laugh with my co-workers.

Being able to articulate how I feel is a great relief.
The last couple of days must have been extremely difficult for her. After our kiss I was a bit incredulous, perhaps to the point of being suspect. I truly wondered what had softened her heart to my advances. (Was it time? Experience? Fear?) Yet she must have been even more overwhelmed by it. The thought, “What have I done?” must have entered her mind. So for a couple of days she has had to face the prospect of our next meeting and that moment when I would want to kiss her again.

I am back in the fold.
I wish I could just go to sleep the way I did when I was a kid. But I want to see how it will all work out: the negotiations, the infrastructure, this season, and most of all this life.

Thus are the whims of the rich.
I’m just plain tired. My struggle is far less important than anything even a child could imagine-or is it? Every day I stave off savage attacks on my soul. I am victorious so long as there is something worth fighting for.
I think some people-maybe most-feel the presence of something intangible and powerful in their lives. They try to define and name this feeling. God, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha, and Jesus are but a few examples. A much smaller group of people simply revels in this feeling. Some ignore it or are incapable of feeling it.

Talk to me.
“You know I think you are a fool.”
“Have you run out of kind words?” she replied.
“Almost. But my meaning is not harsh. I am sad because you are a fool. I don’t know what to think of myself for adoring a fool.”
(Long pause.)
“I suspected my words would elicit only silence. What goes on in your mind? You speak of the Phantom and how he urges Christine to join him in a new life. Am I the fool?”

What I should have done.
I should have reassured her. I should have pulled her close and told her not to worry, that I would be there. I should have kissed her tenderly and held her close. If I wanted her to be at ease I should have told her I know how she feels. Nobody should fear a burgeoning relationship.

All business...
I feel like if I work hard everything else will fall into place. I can’t worry about how each individual behaves. For me, the most important things are sanity and my health. Sanity comes from having a life, and health from this sanity. I know if we communicate well, all will fall into place.

In the belly...
I know why we ignore the voice of reason. When I hear Led Zeppelin sing how she shook him all night long, I understand. And this is the same group that will leave her where the guitar is played.