Hesitating Beauty
I saw my heart break in two.
What have you learned that keeps you alive? Let’s get out of the way, the clichés and easy answers, like your love for family, doing some good for others, and especially that ardent desire to make the world a better place. Authenticity requires honesty, the kind that rips through flesh like the blade of a serrated knife and exposes the unconscious. Go outdoors at night. Sit in a room full of strangers. Visit the grave where you buried those memories and experiences, or even that nameless person too painful to carry with you. So here’s my answer: I must remind myself often, it’s okay to be broken. My scars are the currency I use to negotiate my way with all sorts of beings, along the silk road of life. More than anything I wanted to win. But more importantly, I hesitated to lose. I can be serious, and I can be tender. I can be funny, and I can be loving. At last, I can also be alive without holding on to shame, and without turning my life into some kind of game.
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